I just got back from yanyan's house.
And read Deric's and Allan's blog.
I'm not the one who wanna end this friendship and of cos I don't wish to.
But there are too much misunderstand. I really hope we can solve everything out by talking face to face.
If you all think that talking to me won't work, then I think blogging them down will be the best.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
From Allan's blog.
When Deric won some money at jackpot, he shared the winnings with Wenkai and Eddie and even forked out 50plus dollars to buy those barbecue things and didn't even complain anything.
But when the moment he lost all his money and left only $10 in his wallet.
Who pitied him ? Wenkai did gave him $10.
My reply now: I don't have much money left either. As I have forked out alot for the bbq food.
Yes I did say he shouldn't play so much. But I'm just telling him to tell him so that he won't do it next time.
If you have a friend that you had known for more than 11years and a friend that you had known for less than 1 year. Who will you choose and trust ?
My reply now: I will choose to trust the 11 years of friend of cos.
But take a look this has got nothing to do with why we ended.
I didn't say I don't trust you. Please don't assume that I will trust the 1 year of friend.
I told you, there are too much of misunderstand.
Talking will do a better job.
Every humans in this life have feelings and limits.
My reply now: I agreed. So do I. I forgave, I gave in and I hide it just because I don't want to start any quarrel. I seriously cherish this friendship. But, we both were at fault. Just that how you see it. I don't carry the "Must win" attitude after the last chance you've given me. I did tried to stop to let you have time to cool down. Cos I know you will be ok after that. But you doesn't want to stop. You see? We both are at fault. Many times after the last chance you gave, I apologized to you. But I don't seems to get forgiven. All you did is digging things out from the last chance you gave me. Shouldn't everything be like starting all over? Why are you still digging the past to start over the quarrel again? That day on msn, I really felt like calling you to solve everything out on phone. It's the best way rather than face to face.
When Ahger asked them to barbeque 2 crab sticks and Darrick replied " NO, no space for crab sticks " and everyone got scolded by her. Hey, think carefully. Who was the one who said cannot and did everyone there said it?
My reply: I heard " No, cannot" only. And I didn't scold everyone, I swear.
The actual story of what I did- I was pissed and I walked away without doing anything. I sat down face still pissed off. And then my aunty that was sitting beside me asked me what happened? This is when I started saying about darrick. I said about him only.
ME : Help me make crab meats also cannot. Some more only 2 raw crab meats are left. Don't want then don't want help la!.
Aunty: Who? who so bad? (But she wasn't angry at all)
ME: Xiao Darrick la (Finger pointing at him as he was standing just infront of me)
Aunty: Xiao Darrick ah! Why you make my nephew angry?
Darrick: What?
Aunty: Why Ah ger ask you to make crabmeat for her you say cannot?
Me: Ya la ask him to help me also cannot! (angry tone)
Darrick: Joking de ma. And no space already also.
Nelson: Never mind ah ger I help you cook. Relax relax.
I didn't shout at everyone. Just that my voice is maybe too loud because I'm damn angry then.
When Darrick and Shuzheng were playing with you saying that they will go 1st without you and who did you scolded. You eventually push all the blame to Deric and he took it and didn't even scold you back and now how you treat him?
My reply: I really didn't know that deric wasn't playing along too. That was why I talk to him in an angry way. I know this was my fault and I have already apologized to Deric. I was wrong because I thought Deric was playing along too.
He waited downstairs everytime like a idiot and no one spared a thought for him
My reply: After many times you all told me about it, I didn't came down later already. This thing is like long ago. But I've change. But Deric will still come out with this thing again by saying he always wait for me very long. But I've change. Why are you all always digging things out? You don't know how I felt when being accused. Even the problems are solved and you still digging it is miserable. You know the feeling? When you change to be better but people are you saying you.
A person can change at anytime, ask me to follow you guys to catch a movie will die ma ?
My reply: Won't die if ask you to come along to catch a movie with us. You mean I didn't ask? I'm the one who is always asking. I did ask you. Many times. But in the end, you were either booked or you rejected. You should know yourself that I did ask. And I stopped saying you watch movie only with your girlfriend already.
From deric's blog.
i told myself. why should i shed tears? since you can be happy right now
My reply: I'm not as happy as you seen or heard. I can still joke and laugh about like everyday. But you don't know how I felt inside. I didn't show how I felt. I don't want friends to be worried. In the same time, I don't want to think about it. Everytime I think about it, I don't know what to do. I can't talk to you. I can't msg you. I can't call you. I can't meet you up and I can't get to see you. I really don't know what to do because you told me that that was the last chance. It's like the end of the friendship. I really don't wish for that. I really hope that this friendship will continue after I wake up. Hoping you will forgive me and message me. But that dosen't come true. I even pray to the god holding joysticks and say what I wished and hoped for. I really hope god is on my side and willing to forgive me. Everytime I think about you, like I always called you when I woke up or when you woke up I will recieve your calls. We used to meet up almost everyday. When I'm hungry, you will be the one to accompany me to eat. But now? Seems like it is gone forever. I wouldn't have gone that far if I don't cherish you. I wanted you to have fun together. And everything that is fun to share with you. But sometimes you rejected. But I still ask you to join us without giving up. You said you are giving in the most. But I gave in, you know? I don't think you do. Many things I didn't say. Cos I think it is small matters. I appreciated of those things you gave me because I like it. I didn't say I will throw them away or sell them away. I will keep them with me forever, yes it'll be even if I'm married. Many things can be solve but you wanna put them this way. All I read from your blog is like this is the ending. I can see that you really wanna end this. But I don't want. But, what can I do? I got no say. Everything lies on your hand now. I'm really sorry and I really hope we will be back to what we used to be. I know you won't change your mind. But I really hope for your return to be my best buddy one day. I apologise for everything you think I'm at fault. I will be waiting for your forgiven and waiting for you return even if it take years. I will still remember you for all it takes.
I know I'm not good at my tone of voice. Please Forgive me for all that. I tried and still trying.
I'm really sorry if I did anything wrong.
And read Deric's and Allan's blog.
I'm not the one who wanna end this friendship and of cos I don't wish to.
But there are too much misunderstand. I really hope we can solve everything out by talking face to face.
If you all think that talking to me won't work, then I think blogging them down will be the best.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
From Allan's blog.
When Deric won some money at jackpot, he shared the winnings with Wenkai and Eddie and even forked out 50plus dollars to buy those barbecue things and didn't even complain anything.
But when the moment he lost all his money and left only $10 in his wallet.
Who pitied him ? Wenkai did gave him $10.
My reply now: I don't have much money left either. As I have forked out alot for the bbq food.
Yes I did say he shouldn't play so much. But I'm just telling him to tell him so that he won't do it next time.
If you have a friend that you had known for more than 11years and a friend that you had known for less than 1 year. Who will you choose and trust ?
My reply now: I will choose to trust the 11 years of friend of cos.
But take a look this has got nothing to do with why we ended.
I didn't say I don't trust you. Please don't assume that I will trust the 1 year of friend.
I told you, there are too much of misunderstand.
Talking will do a better job.
Every humans in this life have feelings and limits.
My reply now: I agreed. So do I. I forgave, I gave in and I hide it just because I don't want to start any quarrel. I seriously cherish this friendship. But, we both were at fault. Just that how you see it. I don't carry the "Must win" attitude after the last chance you've given me. I did tried to stop to let you have time to cool down. Cos I know you will be ok after that. But you doesn't want to stop. You see? We both are at fault. Many times after the last chance you gave, I apologized to you. But I don't seems to get forgiven. All you did is digging things out from the last chance you gave me. Shouldn't everything be like starting all over? Why are you still digging the past to start over the quarrel again? That day on msn, I really felt like calling you to solve everything out on phone. It's the best way rather than face to face.
When Ahger asked them to barbeque 2 crab sticks and Darrick replied " NO, no space for crab sticks " and everyone got scolded by her. Hey, think carefully. Who was the one who said cannot and did everyone there said it?
My reply: I heard " No, cannot" only. And I didn't scold everyone, I swear.
The actual story of what I did- I was pissed and I walked away without doing anything. I sat down face still pissed off. And then my aunty that was sitting beside me asked me what happened? This is when I started saying about darrick. I said about him only.
ME : Help me make crab meats also cannot. Some more only 2 raw crab meats are left. Don't want then don't want help la!.
Aunty: Who? who so bad? (But she wasn't angry at all)
ME: Xiao Darrick la (Finger pointing at him as he was standing just infront of me)
Aunty: Xiao Darrick ah! Why you make my nephew angry?
Darrick: What?
Aunty: Why Ah ger ask you to make crabmeat for her you say cannot?
Me: Ya la ask him to help me also cannot! (angry tone)
Darrick: Joking de ma. And no space already also.
Nelson: Never mind ah ger I help you cook. Relax relax.
I didn't shout at everyone. Just that my voice is maybe too loud because I'm damn angry then.
When Darrick and Shuzheng were playing with you saying that they will go 1st without you and who did you scolded. You eventually push all the blame to Deric and he took it and didn't even scold you back and now how you treat him?
My reply: I really didn't know that deric wasn't playing along too. That was why I talk to him in an angry way. I know this was my fault and I have already apologized to Deric. I was wrong because I thought Deric was playing along too.
He waited downstairs everytime like a idiot and no one spared a thought for him
My reply: After many times you all told me about it, I didn't came down later already. This thing is like long ago. But I've change. But Deric will still come out with this thing again by saying he always wait for me very long. But I've change. Why are you all always digging things out? You don't know how I felt when being accused. Even the problems are solved and you still digging it is miserable. You know the feeling? When you change to be better but people are you saying you.
A person can change at anytime, ask me to follow you guys to catch a movie will die ma ?
My reply: Won't die if ask you to come along to catch a movie with us. You mean I didn't ask? I'm the one who is always asking. I did ask you. Many times. But in the end, you were either booked or you rejected. You should know yourself that I did ask. And I stopped saying you watch movie only with your girlfriend already.
From deric's blog.
i told myself. why should i shed tears? since you can be happy right now
My reply: I'm not as happy as you seen or heard. I can still joke and laugh about like everyday. But you don't know how I felt inside. I didn't show how I felt. I don't want friends to be worried. In the same time, I don't want to think about it. Everytime I think about it, I don't know what to do. I can't talk to you. I can't msg you. I can't call you. I can't meet you up and I can't get to see you. I really don't know what to do because you told me that that was the last chance. It's like the end of the friendship. I really don't wish for that. I really hope that this friendship will continue after I wake up. Hoping you will forgive me and message me. But that dosen't come true. I even pray to the god holding joysticks and say what I wished and hoped for. I really hope god is on my side and willing to forgive me. Everytime I think about you, like I always called you when I woke up or when you woke up I will recieve your calls. We used to meet up almost everyday. When I'm hungry, you will be the one to accompany me to eat. But now? Seems like it is gone forever. I wouldn't have gone that far if I don't cherish you. I wanted you to have fun together. And everything that is fun to share with you. But sometimes you rejected. But I still ask you to join us without giving up. You said you are giving in the most. But I gave in, you know? I don't think you do. Many things I didn't say. Cos I think it is small matters. I appreciated of those things you gave me because I like it. I didn't say I will throw them away or sell them away. I will keep them with me forever, yes it'll be even if I'm married. Many things can be solve but you wanna put them this way. All I read from your blog is like this is the ending. I can see that you really wanna end this. But I don't want. But, what can I do? I got no say. Everything lies on your hand now. I'm really sorry and I really hope we will be back to what we used to be. I know you won't change your mind. But I really hope for your return to be my best buddy one day. I apologise for everything you think I'm at fault. I will be waiting for your forgiven and waiting for you return even if it take years. I will still remember you for all it takes.
I know I'm not good at my tone of voice. Please Forgive me for all that. I tried and still trying.
I'm really sorry if I did anything wrong.